I have chosen to begin a log of my current experience at DePaul University Chicago. I have been a student at the university since 1993. First for a masters degree in computer science and now a PhD in software engineering. I have had a rough time of it. I have gone from having no money to having lots to having little. I have gotten married, had a child who nearly died at birth, and have had two people in my extended family die during that time. I am writing this because I hope that by putting it down I will encourage others. I struggle with a learning disability and have for the largest part of my academic career been able to hide the problems excelling to heights other said I could not. I have also been accused of not having such a condition by others and been discriminated against because of an inability to demonstrate knowledge in certain ways. I believe I can do it in others. I have now come to the last qualifying exam in the PhD program. I am asking myself what is it that makes a PhD. I find it difficult to define. I have come to feel that it has nothing to do with complexity or difficulty. I have had many people tell me what it is and what it isn't. I am not satisfied with any of them. I currently develop embedded device software. I spend time in the labs at Lucent and work with some of the finest people. Even though we do product development I am developing new protocols and working in the very same manner as researchers. I use the scientific method every day. It would seem that the application of formal methods and other systematic techniques would constitute research but it doesn't seem to get that respect from the academics I come in contact with at school. I have had professors say "The PhD will be the hardest thing you have ever done in you life." I think that is a pretty bold statement. I am not so upset at the disrespect of my work life but the lack of respect of what it took to develop techniques to get around a learning disability and do these things school, work, or otherwise. I am not saying it won't be hard because I think that it is hard and will be hard. I just think that they have no statistical grounds to judge me against other students or in the same statistical manner. My learning disability has never been diagnosed to my satisfaction. The current medical diagnosis is ADHD. I think that ADHD is wrong and it is probably an autistic spectrum disorder. It doesn't much matter what they are but that I can identify my deficiencies and cognitively get around them. Social aspects coupled with memory anomalies manifested in phobias, reading and aphasia problems are just to name a few. These issues due overlap. I will succeed they just don't know it yet. So I plan to document the journey to its end from this day forward. I plan to write on every significant event here from now on.